some times like the sudden shower
it leaves you longing to be drenched
or like that half bloomed flower,
desperate to spread its scent

sometimes like the cover of fog
it isolates you from the world
or like the strong waves on the stray log
it pulls you back into the whirls

those fond memories of the past
long talks, laughters and the broken hearts
each so close to me, as if my part
and still so far, far apart.

I can still smell that fragrance
and hear the ringing silence
and feel the mist on my eyelids
and music on my finger tips
yep the moment has passed,
or may its still not gone
and may be it will last
cause this time I am holding on…

The soft sand that tickled your feet
or the song that lingered in your head
the sunlight stripes that adorned your scenery
or the thorn that made you bled
I can feel you in the sea and exist like waves
I can be the silence of the jungle which left you dazed
I can be the sound of the wind that gushes through
I can be the blues that makes you rue
I can be the colors in the evening hue
I can be everything … I dwell in you.

Things that I wanted to but dint…
*blow off the GLC fire alarm just to trouble a few friends
*graduation walk in pencil heels// dint cause we got late and had to run to make it on time!
*break the nose of an idiot //dint get time or occasion

Things I dint want to but did …
*crashed on the airport after partying the whole night. //don’t be judgmental it was my last night in Atlanta and graduation party
*crushed on my professor only to realize his great sense of humor was actually stolen verbatim from another professors slides :\

And now! I see what my mom meant when she said “trust me it would all be worth it”. Work is a new challenge every day! It reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my senior colleagues a few months back and the answer I gave “Yes, I want to write for loops for the rest of my life and see them perform miracles.” I stand by it even more stronger than before. And guess what? I have actually figured out what manager do, they no longer look like an earlobe to me (everyone has it but nobody knows why) and no kidding these are the people who really work and really serious problems. /* Can’t believe it took me 3 jobs and more than a dozen managers to figure it out!*/ Yes the answer is 42.

It has been more than a couple of years when I first went for the rock-climbing expedition, but the lessons keep coming back to me. Somehow, life always offers you two choices, one where you can easily take the next step on the visible foot-hold without making much of an effort, and the second where you have to hang on from your fingers and take the leap. I find my self standing there often, with the familiar thoughts, sweat and same fear. It is said that fear has strange capabilities of bringing itself to life when you fear it enough. I remember, I have never been that scared ever…what else do you expect from an acrophobic at 800 ft? But, I cannot forget how beautiful the valley looked from there either and how every bruise and muscle ache made me smile. Every action needs a justification and I can proudly say it was so worth it! Every step was a step into an unknown, moving me higher and every step required me to look for a foot hold and then just let go. That was the lesson that I will hold in my heart for life.

I think living isn’t that hard, its just that we make it so by fearing things a bit too much. The worst cases are never that bad and the best cases are never that good enough either then why not just let go and explore the virgin valley by swinging right across it?

and ohh about the caption- I really don’t think I will make a lemonade if life offers me a lemon…may be I ll seed it and watch the lemon tree grow…
and if I realized that all that life has to offer me is a lemon, I ‘ll probably order a vodka and get drunk, doesn’t make sense to stay in senses when nth is actually making sense. I mean why lemons?

Here is my reverence and kudos to all those people who can and do… for the sake of love!

Let me first start my telling you about this custom called “Karva Chauth”, like all North Indian festivals, it is pretty hyped up and grand. Girls, including the teens and married, get up early in the morning, before sun rise, and starts the day by asking for blessings for the tough day ahead and continues with the chores after a tiny meal. It is not a national holiday ( which I wonder would had been if men had to undergo the same thing in India…), which means the teachers teach, the developers crunch code and my dear sister goes to clinic comforting all her patients. Well that’s just part one, before that she cooks lunch/ breakfast dinner and lulls her kid to sleep and makes sure everything is just perfect ( house-cleaning, laundry, groceries). If it sounded like a sacrifice, you got me wrong – She does it because she won’t want it any other way! The evening is the actual show time…Oh did I tell you about the week long preparation that was on for this day? Let me quickly give you an overview – weekend was spa and parlour day, followed by shopping and planning for the event – calling friends, getting the “Mehandi” event planned and reserving the venue for the night – and of course the cribbing for the amount of work that has to be done! After an hour long session of dressing up [ it is an UNDERSTATEMENT] the hostess is ready to greet the guests and the big fella- the moon. The men of the family are going nuts over the whole thing and since they have no control over it anyway they become a part of it [ all for love!]. [I secretly share my my Jeeju's bewilderment- I mean imagine - a female starving herself for you... and doing all the million things for you and you have no clue how you gained anything after you loosing a couple of grands on the celebration and she loosing a couple of pounds - worst is you cant even complain - if you do : you are being so mean and un-compassionate ].
Lets come back to the grand evening, to get the picture straight, the girl is all dressed up, the guy have been blackmailed emotionally [ with the innocent looks and all for you unsaid talks - I so love being a woman!!] and so even he is all dressed up, the guest have arrived which is actually a huge crowd of overly dressed women, ( and most probably the winner for this years event- who is the prettiest, have the best jewelery and rest of the things, and most imp -the best couple have been decided – silently at the first glance itself {guys have no clue about it – Don’t bother you won’t understand}) and all are waiting for the Moon. If its sounding shallow, I need to correct myself, its not . There are reasons for it to be this way, the last few hours are the toughest and its good to keep yourself busy with some thing you like. It is the day when the women, in the very conservative society of India, declare what they feel for their man and the extent they can go to prove it. When the moon finally decides to rise, the girls make a wish for a long and happy married life. And then the party begins. I think the wishes really work… compare the divorce rates in India and outside . And then people so often get lost in the life that they forget about loving and living.

My nan [granny] had once tried to get me into this thing (unmarried females do it so that they get that hunk they are dreaming about], she even decided to give me company – I dint last the 6 hrs – she actually did ( in retrospection I am glad I dint – I mean come on!! what if I would have really got that dumb head I then had a crush on!!) May be one day I will be able to extend that 6 hours period to a day…may be.. one day when I will tumble over to the illogical and insane side called love!

Cheers to you Sis! you did it again!!
[ will add the pics after my sis gets freed up from the after party gossips ]

That is what I am going through… Did it ever happen to you that you are absolutely sure that you are dreaming and you are trying with all your might to wake up and still you cannot. You feel lost or not sure of where you actually are??

It is strange, weird place and it is called world.

It all started last weekend.Weekends are strange times to be in lab… especially after 1:00 am, its dark , cold ( I have no clue why the hell they maintain a below freezing temperature!!) and I have the company of robots.
One of the location based navigation control robot ( I call him Crawl-E –yeah shamelessly “inspired” by wall-E) started to make a funny sound. I checked it was switched off! I checked the other robotic arms ( we have three of them in the lab) just to be sure – I know what happens when they get caught in the singularity. But none of them were powered on.

I came back to my terminal…but couldn’t concentrate. No, I was not scared, but just a thought – “could they be alive?” and that followed on with “AM I ALIVE?” Strange thoughts were cascading one after the other and I couldn’t reason myself through it. I have never felt so helpless ever before.
Well it all ended about three days ago…I had my midterm and whatever I was thinking was not helping. So, just decided to think only about the papers that were left to be read and the phase passed. In retrospect, I am just dumping the blame on Flu medicines, may be I was hallucinating. Or may be I am hallucinating now…

image source : XKCD

In around 1842 Ada Lovelace was recognized as “the first computer programmer”. A century and some decades later we, “women”, are still a minority in computing. Over the past one year at Tech I have attended a couple of women centric conferences in an attempt to figure out what is it that hinders a woman to progress. With the same perplexity with which Richard asks the question
“You can walk through walls, can’t you Don?” I ask,” What is it that all successful women have in common?”

cute!!

I was convinced that God has to be a woman and now I am convinced that she has to be a nerdette… else how can you explain the perfectness of the optical illusion created by few droplets suspended in air with photons being directed on it at the perfect angle of 40-42 degrees to create a Rainbow! {reason for God to be a women : guys believe there are only 3 colors (RBG) : violet and indigo are variations of blue… )
It was down pouring since three days and I was pretty desperate for the sun to come out. It finally did and everything smiled… the big arch happiness was hanging in the sky for more than 15 mins to greet the big guy. It was big bright and BEAUTIFUL ( cant help but yell )

chk the click I managed:
the pot of gold

Adieus TEXAS!
And now I head back to where I belong – India! …will be back on 22nd Aug!

Yes, I am the devil!